The internet has been in a total meltdown this week after the usually very public Prince Louis, 7, was notably absent from the annual Royal Family’s ‘Dog Agility Fun Day’ at Sandringham.

The young prince’s failure to appear alongside his siblings, George and Charlotte, sparked a torrent of bizarre rumours ranging from him being secretly sent to a military boarding school to—bizarrely—a claim that he had stowed away on a private jet to Ibiza.

But in a rare move, Kensington Palace has issued a scorching statement, making it clear they will not tolerate the “feverish and wholly fictitious speculation” about the third child of the Prince and Princess of Wales.

THE HILARIOUS PALACE QUIP

A Palace spokesperson, known for their sharp wit, provided the official line:

“The Prince of Wales and his family are grateful for the public’s interest. However, we can confirm that Prince Louis is neither on a gap year nor is he training to be a flamenco dancer in Spain. He is merely ‘concentrating on the very serious business of being seven,’ which includes a strict schedule of advanced den-building and strategic hide-and-seek.”

This playful yet firm response seems to confirm that the young royal is simply being protected from the relentless public eye, a boundary the Wales family has long defended.

The “Secret” Behind the Absence

Royal insiders suggest the truth is far more domestic. Louis was reportedly banned from the Fun Day after an incident involving the King’s favourite corgi, a tray of sausage rolls, and a sophisticated water pistol.

“Louis is a firecracker,” said veteran royal watcher, Lady Penelope Sniff. “William and Kate are trying to balance his boundless energy with the demands of royal life. He was likely grounded for a week, and the Palace chose to let the public imagination run wild rather than reveal the truth about a soggy corgi.”

The Palace’s statement—while denying the wildest claims—has only fuelled the public’s obsession with their most unpredictable young royal.